OVEG: The 37’s

Description: We begin season two of Voyager with one word spoken by Janeway, and a word that so fits Voyager: "rust." This is our series, degraded and broken down, and will require much work to buff back into a proper shine. This begins with The 37's, which leads them into their first full season with a story by Jeri Taylor and Brannon Braga. I don't set out to lay into Brannon Braga, really, in fact, I only checked it because I wanted to confirm my theory that he was involved. What made me ask? Because the twentieth century is repeatedly referred to as ancient. That's right, four hundred years is now ancient to the Federation, much like we today refer to the ancient holiday of Thanksgriving. It occurs with such frequency in this episode that every time they say "ancient" I take a drink. It's not a drinking game, you understand, it just helps me cope with the absurdity. I loathe it; it's like a canker on my gumline. Just with twenty seconds of thought, if I was in the 24th century Federation and known their history, I'd have labeled this the Nationalist Era, simply because it fills in the time frame of several centuries while the world formed large nation-states but before they were unified by a single government, and that's with me not even trying. I'm sure a real effort could probably come up with something even better, but instead we resort to the idiotic. Anything before a few centuries ago is ancient... what good is dividing history into two groups where one of which occupies the vast majority of human development? That the same era should include the invention of the plow and the airplane? If this were set in like the year 6000 or something, okay, maybe you could make the case, but four hundred years? I'm sorry to harp on this, but God, it gets under my skin.

Anyway, the sensors are detecting a trail of rust through space, and Janeway asks Harry to explain how it could possibly be there. Harry admits he has no idea, since it doesn't seem possible. Then Janeway laughs at the fact that Harry is her plaything and she can demand the impossible from him whenever she fancies it. They follow it and find a truck in space, and not just any truck, but a CGI truck. Ooooo ominous. They bring it inside and Tom starts talking about it; apparently he's got an interest in vintage vehicles, and instantly pegs it as a '36 Ford. Wow, that's a pretty precise shot there. Harry, to balance out this impressive display of competence by a member of Voyager's crew, asks if this is an early hovercar; what a dink. Torres, in a rather impressive display of incompetence herself, needs it pointed out to her that the chemicals she's reading in the back of the truck are manure. Why harp on this? Because over the course of the series so far we have twice, TWICE, seen the captain put complex scientific analysis in the hands of Torres, a woman who literally does not know shit when she sees it. Harry's starting to look smarter by the minute.

Tuvok, to round all this out, says that there are no signs of wormholes in this area. I'm pretty sure there aren't a whole lot of wormholes that appear in, you know, Iowa. Janeway asks Torres to run a metallurgical analysis of the vehicle, which just shows that Janeway lives in her own fantasy world. Or maybe she's got a thing for Torres, thinks about riding that Klingon ass of hers and is willing to overlook her overwhelming failures. She made her Chief Engineer despite being an Academy washout with a severe emotional problem. She put her in charge of important analyses when her background is patching up broken Maquis ships. Then there was the time she violated Janeway's orders and the Prime Directive, lied to the Captain, and then nearly destroyed the ship, for which she was told "shame shame." Put all this together, and, well, I think I'd have enough to convince a jury Janeway wants to go where no woman has gone before.

Meanwhile Tom gets behind the wheel and starts the truck right up, even though it's been floating in the vacuum of space for four centuries. This is stupid for so many reasons: the water in the radiator, the effects of temperature, and most damning of all, the fact that it's a Ford. As if the scene couldn't get any dumber, Tom says that they're looking for something in there "called a key." Oh brother. There are plenty of keys seen in Trek, and they're even called keys, so what the hell. This is so much a part of what gets on my nerves about the whole "ancient" thing, because instead of believably showing us how different the future is from the present they shoehorn in this claptrap. We're also rewarded with the vehicle backfiring a few times, causing Tuvok to pull his phaser and everyone to react like frightened chimps. Not so evolved now, are ya Captain Bobo.

Inside Tom turns on the old AM radio, and they start picking up "an ancient Earth distress call known as an S.O.S." Curious, considering the number of times the Enterprise picked up an S.O.S. Is TNG now "ancient" too? Is it?! God I f*cking hate this show sometimes. Back on the bridge, Harry says that they've located the source of the signal. Janeway then asks why they didn't pick up the signal themselves, considering that this is a brand new top of the line starship with gadgetry so advanced the computer's made of semen, and they were outdone by a manure truck. We don't monitor those frequencies, Harry replies, because he's the whipping boy this episode. What am I saying, he's the whipping boy every episode. Kneebler commentary: It's so sad that the best Harry episodes are the ones where we spend the entire episode looking for Harry, and he'll only show up for maybe ten seconds... wearing a Viking costume or something else that says "I will always be an ensign." But regarding the sensors, yeah, anyway, I once again call bullshit. Voyager picks up electromagnetic crap all the time, and something with an unusual pattern like this should have been right up their alley, but nope! We wanted to find a working truck floating in space first, so we'll say our super-duper sensors missed it. Ah, the Voyager approach: stupidity got us into this mess, stupidity will get us out!

They show up in the system, and Janeway says "Full scan, Mr. Kim." You know, I can't help but wonder if she's rubbing that in a little. "Scan, Mr. Kim, and see if you can go more than ten seconds without screwing up for once, you pathetic little ensign. You know I can have you flogged just to see how many lashes it takes to kill you, and all I have to do is fill out a three-line report." It turns out there's a whole bunch of trinimbic crap going on here, it stops transporters and is a risk to shuttlecraft. Janeway says that they'll just land on the planet. Oh yeah, Voyager can do that, you know. Tuvok declares Blue Alert, and that everyone report to Code Blue Stations. Boy, this already sounds like a bad idea. Janeway contacts Torres down in Engineering. "Take the warp core offline, vent all plasma from the nacelles, and stand by to engage atmospheric thrusters. After that, put on that Alice In Wonderland costume I made for you, get into my ready room, and replicate my favorite strap-on." Well, she didn't say that last part, but she was thinking it, I could see it in her eyes.

Anyway, the ship comes flying into the atmosphere "on a glide trajector," Tom says, which is a pretty nifty trick for a craft without wings. A panel blows out, and Harry screams that there was an EM discharge, which means that there was something electromagnetic... which of course, is something they don't monitor. Janeway looks at him and her expression makes it clear that after she's done with Torres, Harry's going to be on the receiving end of that strap-on. The landing struts are set down (which while small compared to the ship, are monstrously huge by scale, making you wonder where the hell they had room to put those down in that part of the ship) and the ship lands. Seeing it there, perched majestically on four tiny little legs, it... looks as stupid as you might think. We also discover that Voyager is based on advanced TARDIS technology, because once they get outside, Janeway and company either grow to be about twenty feet tall, or the ship shrinks.

Janeway, Tuvok, and Harry find a dual-prop airplane is the source of the signal. Tuvok calls it "an ancient Earth aircraft." Right, not unlike the ancient Earth aircraft that eight years later would drop an ancient nuclear weapon on Japan. Ah, those wacky ancients, with their chariots and phalanxes and thermonuclear devices...

Anyway, they climb inside the ancient plane and find that someone's hooked up an alien fusion generator to the radio to keep the signal running. Hey, we finally have evidence of them thinking about problems (dead battery) and coming up with a solution that's not stupid! We salute you, Voyager!

Chakotay, meanwhile, reports that they've tracked their technobabble particles to a mine shaft, so he, Janeway, and some security officers head down there. Janeway also brings Torres; since it's a mine there's a chance of a cave in, leaving the two of them trapped with nothing to do but Indian Wrestle, or at least, that was how it always played out in her holodeck fantasy. Torres picks up a cryogenic chamber with a fission reactor powering it. Isn't that rather primitive considering this is technology from a species that brought them seventy thousand light-years across space, while anti-matter reactors are old hat for the Federation? Then again, it is nice to see someone opting for some lower tech rather than always using the most advanced stuff available; odds are your home back-up generator (if you have one) is gasoline or diesel, not a small nuclear reactor. I'll tick this over into the non-screw up column, considering how poorly the episode's been doing so far anyway; I'm not without some mercy.

Janeway starts wiping the crap off the front of the glass and looks at the people inside. They find a Japanese soldier, and apparently a black rabbi. Then the next one is a woman in a leather jacket, with the nametag "A. Earhart." This indeed would have been a shocking revelation if the credits ten minutes ago hadn't included "and so-and-so as Amelia Earhart." Then we cut to the magic meeting room, and I swear to God I'm not making this up, Harry asks "Who's Amelia Earhart?" Ah, Harry Kim: Engineering development, history of flight, chemistry, photonics, clearly there's no start to your talents! Janeway uses Harry's ignorance to tell Earhart's biography, including her disappearance in 1937. Chakotay reveals that all eight people seem to be from the thirties and brought here. Janeway asks Tuvok how the investigation into the cryochamber is coming, but Tuvok says it's difficult; they're having trouble decoding the operating system. Yeah, we've all been there... frickin' Microsoft.

Paris comes up with the obvious plan of waking up the sleeping people and asking them what the hell happened. The crew seems to agree, and Chakotay suggests that only human crewmen be present to try to ease them gently into this, to which Janeway agrees. She does, however, say that they have to allow Kes to come, and that they can disguise her to look human. Now, listen to this: she says that it's so that the Doctor can train her to do the procedure to wake everyone up, except that by her own orders, Tom has been training under the Doctor and is human. Yet Janeway insists on Kes coming despite her non-human prohibition? Why? Because Torres can't come, and Janeway does have the one holoprogram of her and Kes trapped in the turbolift where she passes the long hour's trying to find all the spots where Ocampa are ticklish. "In the meantime," she says, "I suggest we all study up on ancient Earth history." What, all of it? That's like ten thousand years. Poor Harry's gonna have no idea what to say, given that much to try to cram. "On behalf of Napolean Bonaparte, first Pope and the ever-living Pharoah, I have been asked to welcome you in his traditional greeting by declaring that you ain't nothin' but a hound dog, barkin' all the time."

Anyway, they all show up, and the complex task that necessitates Kes' specific presence involves everyone being handed a hypospray and having at it. Yeah, so she really wasn't needed, right captain? I'll bet Janeway even brought the handcuffs and the feather duster just in case. Anyway, everyone wakes up and is generally confused as all hell. Kes goes speedwalking up the line waving the sensor on the tricorder that's less like a medical scan and more like a drive-by baptism. Janeway fills them in on what's happened, but they don't buy it. Fred, Earhart's navigator, pulls a gun, and the crack Starfleet team is taken hostage. Janeway is decidedly unconcerned; I'm betting she's also had a fantasy where she's taken hostage by Amelia Earhart, and now she'll get to use those handcuffs after all. "Do your worst, I'll never talk, no matter how much you spank me!"

Chakotay and Tuvok start heading down to rescue Janeway before she changes her mind about needing to be rescued. To try to convince them that her story holds up, she shows Kes' elf ears to them, but Amerlia Earhart says that she's seen enough weird things people do to themselves that she's not going to take this as a sign that Martians invaded Earth. "Actually it was the other way around," Harry says. "Mars was colonized by Earth in 2103." Which proves that he must have gotten the message and gotten around to learning enough to avoid embarrassing himself with historical ignorance; if he can just eliminate all the other ways he embarrasses himself daily he'll be in great shape. Anyway, Fred sends them all off to sit in the corner while he downs some booze; I guess hearing that he come from an ancient time pisses him off too.

Paris suggests that maybe they can rush Fred and get the gun, but Janeway insists that she can sweettalk Earhart into letting them go. You can tell she's just eating this up. She starts talking to Earhart about how inspiring she's been, which I can't fault her for. Earhart was a great person with many notable achievements, especially given the times she lived in. Unfortunately, we are well over halfway through the episode and she's been conscious for only a few minutes, and spent most of that time being incredulous. To give away some of the story, the presence of Earhart does nothing to affect any of what happens; she could be replaced by anyone and what happens wouldn't change a bit. The only thing that'd disappear would be Janeway admiring her... and I don't want to sound like I downplay that, because clearly an explorer would find many things about her to admire. But the episode was not constructed in a way to make Earhart's presence in any way significant. What they needed to do was one of two things: either make this a two-part episode with a very solid story, or they should have cut out the truck, the techno-bs around the planet, and the whole landing the ship thing. If you're going to bring in Amelia Earhart, she needs to have some actual relevance to the story rather than be just one more thing that happens. They constructed it like a mystery, which is fine normally, but in this case, they gave away the mystery AND didn't cause much of a payoff. There could have been a good story there, but it was spoiled by... by rust.

Eventually, Janeway convinces Earhart that they should head up to the ship, so she, Uncle Ben, and Fred the wonder-lush are going to go check it out. The others are afraid, so Tom volunteers that he and Kes stay behind. He's cracked all Janeway's holoprograms and has been waiting for this a long time. Meanwhile, while Tom is exploring all of Kes' tickle spots, our crack security officer accompanied by a former teacher of advanced tactics at Starfleet Academy and leader of a guerilla army casually lead their team into an ambush. In the midst of all this, Fred gets shot in the chest, but since he's not a villain, he's not even knocked out, nevermind dead. In fact, he looks more frightened than hurt. Remember the good old days when guns killed people?

Anyway, Janeway circles around and gets the jump on them, and it turns out they're human, so they agree to a cease-fire so they can get Fred up to Sickbay. Turns out that eventually Fred might actually die from the wound; wow, that's pushing the envelope. Oh, nope, the Doc's able to patch him up right as rain... ah well.

Back to the magic meeting room, where one of the humans -John Evansville- is busy chewing up the scenery. What's humorous is that against his ranting overacting, Chakotay is so still it's a wonder a pidgeon doesn't land on him. He says that the 37's were brought here by an evil groups of aliens called the Borui, I mean, the Briori. He says that the Briori kidnapped a bunch of humans in 1937, flew them to this planet, and used them as slaves. Eventually, however, the humans revolted, killing the Briori, who never came back. Nice story, but in the confines of Star Trek it makes no sense (what's new?). Why go to all the trouble of traveling across the galaxy to kidnap humans when there are many many many species right there? And if you were looking for slave labor, why humans rather than one of the many species with strength far beyond? If the Briori had such speed, why did no one else know of them? If they went to that much trouble to get human slaves on that planet, why did they simply abandon the planet because of one slave revolt? It's not a bad idea in a vacuum, but it simply raises too many unanswerable questions in this episode that doesn't have time to focus on things as it is.

Speaking of not having enough time, here's once again an example of the silliness of Voyager. Evansville goes on and on about these beautiful cities they have, and they plan to take them to see these beautiful cities, and then... and then we have Janeway in her log "Wow, what beautiful cities." Even as I type this I actually laugh to myself at this. Apparently there was no money left after the CGI pickup and the landing to even afford a matte painting. It's particularly significant because of what happens now; the crew wonders if they should just stay here, considering how beautiful this place is. Yeah, I guess we'll have to take your word for it.

Chakotay and Janeway start talking, and they wonder if Voyager should just stay here, since this is a genuine human culture out here in the delta quadrant. It's just like getting back home, they say, and I suppose that's true. Except for the Vulcans, of course. And the Boleans. And the Bajorans. And any other species for that matter. Once again, the story raises a serious question and just pretends it's not even there. The issue isn't the humans' desire to stay versus the aliens' desire to get home, it's whether the crew wants to stay behind or press on. This must be where Amelia Earhart comes into the story, because she... um, no. No, she eats dinner in the messhall. Lucky thing we brought her out of cryostasis for that.

Anyway, things go on with the crew discussing whether to stay or leave, and we end with no one deciding to stay behind. Uh huh, I'm sure that not one person on the crew feels like staying, especially with some of the personality issues we find down the line. Another pat TV ending.

The production number for this episode is out of order, so it's possible they shuffled things around to make this the season premiere, and it very well could have been if it didn't try to do so much. Just spitballing here, but I think this had much more potential as the first half of a season ending cliffhanger, with Voyager's crew opting to stay on the planet and Earhart playing a much larger part (maybe even being part of the reason they stay, because of her charisma). This could then lead into the start of the next season with the arrival of the Briori, who were finally able to locate the planet thanks to a transmitter that activated because of the waking of the 37's (maybe even incorporate it into the lore around them that the humans here have for the 37's, that it would be a portent to their master's return). Having conflict emerge between Janeway and her hero in how to deal with this situation would add a different element, since so far Janeway has pretty much just crushed opposition. It seems like there were a lot of good story elements that were being drowned out by the overwhelming number of bad ones, and that if they could only have been developed this could have been a good episode, instead of just bland.

Rating: 5

Star Trek, and all related characters are property and trademark of Paramount Pictures.
The views expressed herein are those of the author and do not reflect the views of anyone
connected with Star Trek: Voyager, or the staff and management of Paramount Pictures.
All original material copyrighted.